That sense of accomplishment did not last. At 6 feet tall with big, manly hands and a masculine voice, Wenman struggled to “pass” as a woman and dreaded being in public. One stranger’s weird look would provoke days of anguish in Wenman, and kids terrified him— these little ones gaped at him with brazenness. “Rather than feeling liberated, I felt like a criminal. I was getting more and more paranoid.”
Outwardly, Wenman volunteered weekly with the transgender community, marched in LGBT/feminist parades, giggled with fellow trans “sisters” at local bars, and preached that gender is a psychological construct. Inwardly, he was an emotional wreck. His chronic depression began affecting his work performance, and in February 2009, after 28 years of employment, he lost his job. Just as suicide began sounding sweeter than life, Wenman decided to find a church. He found a conservative independent Baptist church, where he realized: “I’ve been warring against my soul. I was transgressing against God, imprisoned by guilt and shame.”
After 17 years living as a woman, Wenman, now 60, has detransitioned back into a man: He clips his white hair short, wears plaid shirts and slacks from the men’s department, and prays for a wife. Since his surgery is irreparable, he wonders if marriage is possible and mourns that he’ll never enjoy the cuddles of his own children.
So when he hears stories of husbands who come out as transgender and leave their families, Wenman grieves: “I want to shake them and scream, ‘You don’t know what you’re doing! You’re giving your family up for something that’s not real!’... But I also know how powerful that feeling is because I went through it. It’s almost demonic.” Yet not impossible to overcome, Wenman said, quoting John 8:32: “The truth shall set you free.”
Like most little girls, KathyGrace Duncan formed her earliest image of women through her mother. What she saw was weak, vulnerable, abused. Whenever her father mistreated her mother, her mother would slip into Duncan’s room to cry. As she listened to her mother sob, the little girl thought, “She’s female and I’m female, but I don’t want to be like her.” Duncan’s parents were distant with her, but her father showered attention on her baby brother. She concluded, “I need to be a boy in order to get affection and affirmation.”
As a child Duncan fantasized about taking women like Jaclyn Smith out on dates. Unlike her father, she would rescue women from distress, buy them gifts, make them feel special—all the things she didn’t get and wanted. By 16, Duncan was ready to be that perfect gentleman. She cut her hair short and feathered, wore two shirts to hide her late-bloomer’s chest, and took girls out on dates to parks and fairs. Duncan didn’t tell her dates she was a girl.
Comments
DCal3000
Posted: Fri, 03/31/2017 01:13 amWell-written article. So glad to see WORLD addressing this issue.
RMF
Posted: Fri, 03/31/2017 01:31 amIt's good to see World addressing this issue-what Christians can do to help transgender people besides shun and squirm around them. If they are people of faith and in need of help and recovery, we can stand with them as they work through it.
DB
Posted: Fri, 03/31/2017 07:58 amSophia, thank you for these articles. I have heard Walt speak before on another talk show. Praying this message of hope will get to those who need it most.
austinbeartux
Posted: Fri, 03/31/2017 11:57 amSophia,
Thank you for a fantastic article. You're brave to shine the light of the Gospel on this sin-tainted, heart-related issue.
God bless you!
Beth
Posted: Fri, 03/31/2017 12:15 pmThank you for an excellent article with important stories to tell.
It's so valuable for World to tell these stories, since much of the media will not and much of the painful truth is being buried when it's most needed.
KP
Posted: Sat, 04/01/2017 09:38 amIt's all so heartbreaking. Thanks to world for standing for the truth and the hope found in Jesus Christ alone.
jclark53
Posted: Sat, 04/01/2017 10:37 amI believe the current fascination with transgenderism is a huge step backwards.
When I was raised, Barbie dolls were new, men worked and women were discovering they could do things other than take care of the home. We were taught women could like math and science and men could like to cook and sew, but that didn't make us any less men or women.
Now it seems if a girl is athletic someone along the way tries to convince her she is really a man, and if a boy likes to dress up or is artistic, he must really be a girl. So much for liberation. We are limiting what we expect from male and female more than we have for decades. And the worst part is that the people guilty of this cannot see it.
Judy Farrington
Posted: Sat, 04/01/2017 04:27 pmThank you, World Magazine, for your courage and integrity. And thank you, Sophia Lee, for a well-written group of articles. May our LORD Jesus give those of us who profess His Name the courage to speak the truth in wisdom, love, gentleness, and respect regarding this whole issue.
There is no one so broken that Jesus cannot heal. The torment those dealing with this issue must be horrendous--especially for those who have believed all the lies and had surgery. May those of us who have never dealt personally with this issue not judge those who have and do.
D Wallace
Posted: Sat, 04/01/2017 08:58 pmInsightful. Very good to hear about this issue from those who have experienced it themselves.
An extremely tough row to hoe without Christ.
And He can save His people to the utermost, all who turn to Him in genuine faith and repentance.
Melissa D
Posted: Mon, 04/03/2017 05:08 pmThis is a great set of articles. Thank you for writing them!
AmyM
Posted: Sat, 04/08/2017 09:00 pmagree!