Screenwriter William Goldman begins his Hollywood memoir with these memorable words: “Nobody knows anything.” He meant the uncertainty of the movie business, and it’s as true now as it was in 1983 (just ask the makers of Batman v Superman). But the application stretches to other fields, even those dedicated to knowing everything there is to know.

What do Satanists really want?

Free publicity, always. A juicy court case, when they can afford it. And many of them, especially members of The Satanic Temple headquartered in New York City, want you not to believe in Satan. They’ll gladly explain that the being known as Lucifer, or the devil, is simply a “metaphysical construct” symbolic of humanity’s ongoing struggle to free itself from superstition.

It was popping up all over the internet the first weekend in July: Pokémon Go. Pros and cons, yeses and noes, yellow cartoon figures decorating the screen, everything but the obvious question: What is it?

Here’s a thought experiment: Imagine you could ask noteworthy figures of the past how they “identify.” Socrates, Confucius, Cleopatra, Luther, Napoleon, Charlemagne, Lincoln, St. Teresa: How do you see yourselves? It’s doubtful that these history-makers, much less the average Joe on the streets of colonial Williamsburg or ancient Rome, would even understand the question. They “identified,” essentially, with what they did; whether baker or bricklayer, slave or monarch, their work defined them, along with family name and place of origin.

When time is ripe, it moves quickly. Only 10 years after the notorious “Stamp Act” had thrown the colonies into an uproar and brought out some of the Americans’ worst character traits, war began. After a year of shooting, shouting, desperate diplomacy, and furious debate, the colonists declared independence on July 2, 1776.

What then?