“We’re looking at how to attract people, and for those willing to go through the fairly arduous process ... how to support them,” said Irene Clements, director of the National Foster Parent Association. Within the first year, she said, up to 50 percent of foster parents “give up and say, ‘This is too hard.’” 

Todd first recalls thinking he wanted to become a foster parent in high school after he heard a Christian camp counselor talk about his experience with it. Todd and Britton met as teenagers and new believers at a Bible study in Santa Barbara, Calif. Before marriage, a pastor performing premarital counseling likened abstaining from birth control as newlyweds to “standing in the middle of the freeway,” Britton told me with a laugh. 

The Kendalls attended an introductory foster care meeting in 2016 with another infertile couple from their church. That couple had been on an adoption agency’s waiting list for two years. Then, Britton heard about Royal Family Kids’ Camps (RFKC), a national Christian-run nonprofit that partners with churches to provide local foster children with a week of over-the-top love and fun. Camp activities include a pajama party for girls, a knighting ceremony for boys, a petting zoo, woodworking classes, a zip line, and a high ropes course.

In 2017, the Kendalls enlisted their church to join Sonoma County’s recently launched RFKC. Britton says camp “changed my whole idea of what it could mean to enter someone’s life midstory, even for a short period of time. You meet kids that you would change your whole life for.”

The Kendalls initially requested children ages 6-12. Most foster parents prefer younger children over teenagers, believing they will have experienced less trauma, Clements told me. The Kendalls took in Alberto after a trusted Christian friend who works at a foster agency told them he thought it was a great fit.

Ten months later, they recounted their many firsts. For the Kendalls: their first time attending parent night at school, their first Christmas morning with a kid, their first mother’s and father’s days, their first time making Easter baskets and hosting an egg hunt. For Alberto: his first time building a sand castle, his first trips to Costco and to a fancy restaurant, his first time doing laundry, his first time attending church, his first time watching The Princess Bride and Napoleon Dynamite.

The Kendalls and Alberto also live in the reality that he may leave. Foster care is often temporary, and social workers strive for reunification with a child’s family if possible. For Alberto and the Kendalls, reminders come as they meet weekly with a caseworker and monthly with a social worker. Alberto has visitation with his family at least once a month, and his case goes before a judge every six months.

Throughout the Kendalls’ journey, they have talked frankly with other congregation members, and they now bring foster care to the forefront. “Our young friends at church are Alberto’s old friends,” Todd says: Some are even becoming foster parents. Britton says, “The joy has far outweighed the pain of watching my friends have children … or scrolling through my Instagram feed and only seeing babies.”