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What could it be?

A child’s analytical skills could connect the terrorist attack dots

What could it be?

Omar Mateen (MySpace)

Here’s a little test of your analytical skills. What do the following items have in common: dog, lizard, comet, kite? Give up? The answer is that they all have a tail. Let’s try another one.

What do the following names have in common: Abdul Basit Mahmoud Abdul Karim, Mahmud Abouhalima, Mohammad Salameh, Nidal Ayyad, Abdul Rahman Yasin, Ahmed Ajaj, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Eyad Ismoil, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed Alie Fadden, Abu Dahdah, Mounir el-Motassadeq, Mohamed Atta, Marwan al Shehhi, Ziad Jarrah, Ramzi bin al-Shibh, Said Bahaj, Said Kouachi, Cherif Kouachi, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, Omar Mateen, Syed Rizwan Farook, Tashfeen Malik, and Enrique Marquez Jr.?

Stumped? The Obama administration is too. If only they could figure out—if only they had some small clue!—what is the common denominator that connects this list, maybe they could make a start toward solving the mystery of random outbreaks of violence in this country’s far-flung regions of Boston, New York, Orlando, Fort Hood, and San Bernardino. But alas, every investigation so far has led to a cul-de-sac.

What’s that you say? They all sound like Middle Eastern names? Aha! You are not so perceptive after all. Evidently the last name on the list escaped your notice: Enrique Marquez Jr. That would be more Hispanic, so crime solving is not your thing. Better leave it to the professionals.

They’re all men, right? Wrong again. Tashfeen Malik is a woman—so there’s another dead end; these are clearly not male-perpetrated crimes. At first I thought the key to the conundrum might be the presence of the letter “i” in all the names, but I checked and eight names don’t have it. That’s the best I can do with linguistics. Nothing to see there.

What more could Omar Mateen have done to make his motives clear?

Are they all Christians? No (Rats! Too bad). It’s unfortunate because a paper called “Law Enforcement Assessment of the Violent Extremism Threat,” published by the Triangle Center on Terrorism and Homeland Security with survey data provided by President Obama’s Department of Justice, informs us that “Law Enforcement Agencies in the United States consider anti-government violent extremists, not radicalized Muslims, to be the most severe threat of political violence that they face.” So if you find yourself near a band of Christians exiting a church that does not allow transsexuals as pastors, take cover. And if you see something, say something.

There is an episode of The Simpsons in which Krusty the Clown is momentarily disowned by his father Rabbi Krustofsky for not following in the family footsteps. With dramatic disdain he slams the door, exclaiming, “I. Have. No. Son!” (Then we see the door open a crack and he clarifies, “I didn’t mean that literally.”)

Everyone yearns to be understood, even Islamic terrorist organizations bent on a worldwide caliphate. Even they, Jannah-minded as they are, long for proper attribution of their work. But ISIS and al-Qaeda, like Rodney Dangerfield, get no respect. (Except from the Dalai Lama of Tibet, who says we must respect them in order to make the terror stop.)

What more could Osama bin Laden have done to take credit for the 1993 World Trade Center prequel than what he did, taking the time to pen a “Letter to America” with seven explicitly stated reasons for the attack? What more could Omar Mateen have done to make his motives clear, interrupting his beautiful carnage midway to dial 911 and give glory to Allah?

Still the government experts ponder possible motives and U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch, in her inimitable perspicacity, announces to the public regarding Mateen: “I cannot tell you definitely that we will ever narrow it down to one motivation.”

Call me a fool, but I think Islamic terrorist masterminds have been totally caught off guard by this. Such a dumbfounding national response, such unforeseen limitless capacity of bureaucracy for denial and obtuseness, has confounded the best minds in Al Bayda province. No wonder al-Qaeda of the Arabian Peninsula, in its magazine Inspire, is instructing stateside drones to focus on white males and to lay off homosexuals and minorities henceforth. Why should credit go to hate crime penny ante? No more wasting of their perfectly good pressure cookers and rented SUVs.

Email aseupeterson@wng.org

Comments

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  •  austinbeartux's picture
    austinbeartux
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 08:29 am

    Bravo!  Hilariously accurate article Ms. Peterson.

  •  Neil Evans's picture
    Neil Evans
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 09:50 am

    Humorous? Yes, but it should be frightening as well.  Frightening not just because of the actions of the terrorists, but also if we connect the dots of our leaders responses they cannot be simply nieve.  They must be either ignorant or intentional in their giving   Islamic terrorism a free pass. Both ignorance and intention are very frightening. 

  •  William Peck 1958's picture
    William Peck 1958
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 09:43 pm

    Intention probably more so.

  • Christian_Prof
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 10:23 am

    Wow. This should be an op-ed in the NYT! Oh wait, they'd never publish it... :/

  •  Greg Mangrum's picture
    Greg Mangrum
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 10:51 am

    This essay would have been funny it it wasn't so frightening!

    The Obama administration lives in a make-believe world. If it wasn't actually happening, I would never believe that this level of lunacy could exist in a world where true things are evident all around us: for example, gravity.

    I believe, whether pre-meditated or not, that our government's problem lies in its suppression of the truth, as the letter to the Romans states it. St. Paul calls this wickedness and ungodliness (Rom. 1:18).

  • TxAgEngr
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 04:00 pm

    "Reward your friends and punish your enemies"  The Mulsims are an important friend of the Left and their friends are not to be criticized.  It is part of the overall plan.  "Never give up the con and deny, deny, deny."

  • Steve SoCal
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 04:54 pm

    Thank you for writing this article, if for nothing else to encourage us that not everyone has completely lost their senses.

    The self-willed blindness of liberal progressive types in regard to the non-stop violence that spews from the depths of Islam is almost incomprehensible.  How can we expect the Muslims who don't support terrorism to take an honest look at, and a strong stand against, the horrors their co-religionists are constantly perpetrating if our leaders among the peoples being targeted can't (or, I should say, won't) even identify their enemies?

     

  • Judy Farrington
    Posted: Sun, 07/24/2016 10:14 pm

    Most excellent. You nailed it. The Obama administration's focus on and love for obfuscation would be laughable and silly, if it was not so dangerous and disgraceful.

  • Ben K
    Posted: Mon, 07/25/2016 07:00 am

    Very well done.  This is a much needed article.

  •  William Peck 1958's picture
    William Peck 1958
    Posted: Mon, 07/25/2016 07:19 am

    I nominate Andree` for the Commissioner of the Department of Common Sense.

  • sanman101
    Posted: Mon, 07/25/2016 09:32 am

    Hilariously entertaining and frighteningly accurate at the same time!