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Acronym absurdity

Remember this LGBT the next time you hear about LGBTQQIAP (and so on)

Acronym absurdity

(Krieg Barrie)

I stink at acronyms, and unfortunately we are awash in them. I live one block from SPS (Standard Pressed Steel) and a few more from CVS and SVS. (The latter is a mom-and-pop produce store, and I have no idea what the letters stand for.) ACLU is very close to ACLJ, but I wouldn’t want to dial the wrong number. AA is for drinkers; add another “A” and it’s for drivers—who had better not be drinkers. And as a relative newcomer to the cell phone world, I thought LOL meant “lots of luck” till I was apprised of its less intuitive reference to laughter.

My favorite acronym (which I just made up) is LGBT. It means “Let God be true” (What did you think?), the amplified version being “Let God be true though every one were a liar” (Romans 3:4). This easy-to-remember mantra speaks volumes in an economy of words—that whatever God says is to be believed above every other word, theory, testimony, report, feeling, persuasive argument, or complicated theology.

Sometimes I wonder if the inventors of the other LGBT brand are a tad embarrassed. They keep having to add new letters to their acronym, and the more they tack on the weaker their case looks. In simpler days when it was merely an “L” and a “G,” their position seemed stronger because all they had to persuade us of was that some people are born with a hard-wired romantic orientation to the same sex. We were given assurances that if we granted “L” and “G” they would be happy and leave us alone, having achieved total self-actualization and a redressing of offenses against their long-aggrieved identities.

Then “B” came along, and they had to fairly sneak it in when no one was looking, because claiming that you have an orientation that goes both ways sounds a lot like saying you just like to fool around and you don’t care who with. Suddenly we are plunged from the high-minded early visions of ineluctable destiny to the shameful little man behind the curtain who used to cause knee-knocking with his smoke-and-mirror routine. There is a huge gap between campaigning on a manifest biological imperative (early “G” and “L”) and the later ravenous clamor for the right to anything-goes (“B”).

They keep having to add new letters to their acronym, and the more they tack on the weaker their case looks.

Nevertheless, “T” followed without fanfare, like a bill sneaked through Congress on a Friday afternoon, and I always have trouble remembering the new additions, which are (a quick online search tutors me) LGBTQQIAP. I personally do not agree that the canon is closed with these nine unholy fruits of an unclean spirit, unless you let the “P” (pansexual) also cover pedophilia, and the “B” in the third slot do double duty for bestiality.

In science there is a rule known as “death by qualification.” It is the idea that a theory about something loses its cogency when it gets whittled away by too many exceptions and contrary facts and when you constantly have to tack on new explanations to try to account for inconvenient evidence (evolution theory, for instance). The LGBTQQIAP movement will soon need a wheelbarrow for its alphabet. What started as a self-styled civil rights movement in the grand old tradition of social gains for African-Americans and women has metastasized into a free-for-all with no common denominator but the uninhibited acting out of all impulses and no cohesive agenda but the agenda to rebel against God in any way conceivable.

As for me, I will stick to plain old LGBT, “Let God be true though every one were a liar.” And what God says that’s true, and what some are liars about, is that when a nation doesn’t consider the knowledge of Him worthwhile, He gives “them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done” (Romans 1:28). In this mental debasement, “their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another” (verses 26-27).

My LGBT means that even if I am the last person on earth who still believed what the Bible says about the proper use of our bodies, I will choose to believe God over every other word, theory, testimony, report, feeling, persuasive argument, and complicated theology.

Email aseupeterson@wng.org

Comments

  • Sawgunner's picture
    Sawgunner
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    The whole trans thingy leaves me bewildered. Okay, I get it. You were born this and now you are--thru surgery, hormones and perhaps hair extensions--now THAT. A national soap company has a "See the Real Me" campaign featuring a teen or tweenager named Jazz Jennings. Why is there such a profound emphasis on the fact that "she" was once he. If I had a trans child I think very quietly I would enroll the "new" gender kid in a school across town and the fact that the child had once been XYZ but now is ZYX would be kept under wraps. It like all matters of sex should be NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. But obviously if parents can cash in on a profound mental illness that is their right.  The Trans folks say it isnt a mental illness and yet the reason given for the surgery and hormone treatment is the youth suffers from a DIAGNOSIS of gender dysphoria which sounds like a DSM classification to me.

  • Merkava
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    An interesting point arises: please name any secular humanist society that is breeding to replacement?Despite the fact that the "seculars" berate Christian folks for being prudes, their chase is ultimately barren: spiritually and physically and as the passage of time will reveal.On the other hand, the Church I attend has lots of big families, praise G-d.

  • MTJanet
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Too true.  The sexual sin promoters are falling for the lie that the more letters they have surely the stronger their argument.  It is the other way around - we can't keep up with their farce.  I will also remember the Biblical version of LGBT, and even use it for conversation when an opportunity is given.  

  • Sawgunner's picture
    Sawgunner
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    What a great re-affirmation! If you wake up and find SoulForce and Mel White picketing your front yard you know you have hit the target.

  • Debra
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Thank you for the new LGBT! Thanks also for sharing your thoughts on this, after my morning God time, God honoring words are a much better way to start my day than the secular press.

  • William Peck 1958's picture
    William Peck 1958
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Good ! but Q is an oxymoron, no ?

  • nevertheless's picture
    nevertheless
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Right. (lol)

  • William H
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Thank you the insightful article. I won't feel the need to grimace at the sight of that acronym LGBT any longer.

  • dshuffman
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    A most entertaining and enlightening article.  I, too, will never see LGBT the same again.  Appreciate your insightful reflection on this subject.

  • bjfloy
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    AMEN!  Thank you.

  • jclark53
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Thank you. Every time I see LGBT now I will think "Let God Be True" and I can shrug off the bad feelings it used to bring.

  • bwsmith's picture
    bwsmith
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Just what I needed to read this AM, feeling overwhelmed by how silly we insist on being!  

  • Neil Evans's picture
    Neil Evans
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    I too, stand with all of you, who by His Grace, stand with God.  

  • MamaC
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    AAA! (Amen and Amen!!) TY!

  • Midwest preacher
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    That pretty well says it.  Thank you!!

  • June
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Amen!

  • Hans's picture
    Hans
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    You missed a few. The most that seems to have been offered is Wesleyan's fifteen: LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM.

  • JerryM
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Amen, too.

  • EverydayGrace
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    I will never think of LGBT in the same way again... thank you for the encouraging words!

  • Janice G's picture
    Janice G
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Good thoughts for the evil days and nights of our times. I really don't know what all those letters stand for, but I do know I like your version better. Infinitely better to be bold in the correction of the acronym than accepting of the contortions of the ever expanding license to go against God's best. He really has been merciful in allowing bonus days above what this nation deserves considering how many put themselves above Him. At least this land still has a few who He can count as righteous.

  • GMR
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Thank you, Andree Seu Peterson, for coming out of the 'closet' for THE TRUTH of God's Word.I want to come out with you, unabashedly, to take my stand for THE TRUTH . "I, Gail M. Rupprecht, will choose to believe what God says in the Bible, "about the proper use of our bodies and over every other word, theory, testimony, report, feeling, persuasive argument, and complicated theology"."If you do not stand firm in your faith you will not stand at all". Isaiah 7:9bApart from you, Jesus, I can do nothing (John 15:5). But, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).God's Truth will prevail in the end. 

  • sermn8r
    Posted: Mon, 04/11/2016 12:54 pm

    Mind expanding perspective indeed - thank you!  GOD IS TRUE!