You just stopped me cold from eating another burger.

OPRAH WINFREY, in a 1996 television show that suggested U.S. beef was at risk for so-called mad cow disease. Ms. Winfrey went on trial last week in Texas under a state law that holds liable anyone who makes false and disparaging statements about perishable food products. Lawyers for cattlemen accused Ms. Winfrey of acting as the "cheerleader" who "created a lynch-mob mentality among spectators."

Many may ask why it took me so long to get back there to receive this honor, which is something I cherish. For the last 12-13 years, I was hoping to find a wife to bring back to share it with me, and I couldn't find one.

Legendary womanizing NBA star WILT CHAMBERLAIN, upon his first return to alma mater Kansas last week.

I was venting.

RICHARD JONES, a county judge in Nebraska, on why he tossed lighted firecrackers into a fellow judge's office and used profanity in describing other colleagues. Judge Jones, at a judicial misconduct hearing last week, characterized his conduct-which also included signing some court papers with names like Adolf Hitler and setting bonds for "a zillion dollars"-as "unnecessary, wrong, and stupid." But, he explained, he was acting out of frustration with his colleagues.

He certainly has no illusions about any ease to the job.

White House press secretary MIKE McCURRY, on the appointment of Senate aide James Kennedy to become the new administration spokesman designated to handle controversial legal matters. He replaces Lanny Davis, who held the job for just one year.

I let him know in no uncertain terms that the only reason he was not prosecuted or arrested for killing babies is because the Supreme Court, which is also the same court that at one time legalized slavery, has made a decision that baby-killing would be legal in the abortion arena.

Lee County (Fla.) Sheriff LEE McDOUGALL, on his correspondence with a local abortionist who asked the sheriff in a letter for protection from "these barbarians" who protest outside his clinics.

A lot of people ask, 'Why me?' I say, 'Why not me?' I'm visible, I'm a Christian man, and maybe I can reach out to people in how I deal with this thing. There's no sense getting down or crying about something you can't control.

Basketball player CUONZO MARTIN, on his battle against cancer. Mr. Martin helped lead Purdue to two Big Ten basketball championships and played briefly in the NBA for Vancouver and Milwaukee.